Individual Therapy
You are struggling in your closest relationships with others…
… and noticing your sense of identity is fuzzy and vague. The constant conflict and miscommunication with your partner or loved one leaves you reeling, feeling misunderstood, unstable, and disorganized. Even if you try to avoid it, the tension keeps building and often boils over with excruciating pain.
You want a better relationship.
You want peace of mind.
You are noticing more and more frequent thoughts about detaching from this relationship – you just want some balance back – but you also question yourself: Is it me that’s the problem?
You feel a deep dissatisfaction and uncertainty about your relationship that you can’t articulate or even understand. You want to feel more certain about your choices, more confident in your communication, and ease in your relationships. You want intimacy, authenticity, and to feel deeply connected to others without self-sacrificing. You have dreams and goals that you are passionate about achieving, and your independence and sense of self matter to you.
It’s not happening, though, and you can’t figure out why or what to do next.
Sometimes we are our harshest critic… and our own worst enemy.
You’re floundering…
You have a million and one things to do today… this week. You constantly question: Is it even possible to get it all done, or am I the only one who feels like this?
You’re feeling disconnected from your partner, misunderstood, and unable to communicate effectively. The intimacy, the connection, and the support in your relationship are not the same as they used to be. Your time together and conversations with your kids feel inadequate.
You’re out of sync…
… not just with some of the important people in your life, but with yourself. When you try to explain it (to others or yourself), it somehow comes out all wrong, leaving you feeling even more unstable and disorganized. This unbalance leaves you wondering what you are even doing. You question all of your ideas and choices. You’re unsure about your own decisions and can’t seem to figure out what to do next.
Maybe you’re considering getting a divorce or ending your relationship because it’s just not connecting, and you don’t know what else to do. You don’t want to tap out too early, but this just doesn’t feel right anymore.
This isn’t like you…
You are independent, honest, and hard-working. You care about others, prize authenticity, and desire intimacy in all of your close relationships. You’re looking for peace of mind, balance, and a true inspiration. You want it all.
Maybe you struggle to remember a time that you felt more like yourself. Before you got married, had kids, or became a business owner, you had space in your life to explore, slow down, spend time with your friends, and engage in learning new things. Now the time you have is shared with all your other responsibilities, and you feel like you’re losing touch with your wants and needs.
But you doubt yourself…
Every time you start to feel confident and ready to connect to your life’s purpose, questioning creeps in.
Is this really how I should be spending my time and energy?
Is this really what I want?
Is my selfishness hurting others?
Do I even deserve what I really, really want?
You feel the pressure to keep your family together, to make sure no one else gets hurt, even if that means suppressing your internal signals, which are still bubbling up and messing with your mind.
Imagine living life being completely clear…
… about who you are, what you want, what you need, and where you’re going.
You know you have changed, and you’re not who you used to be, but what about who you are now? Have you given yourself space and permission to become confident about that path you are walking down now? Right now, your wants and needs are at the bottom of the to-do list. They may be so far down on the list that you don’t even know what they are. You thought you could take care of everyone else and leave yourself for later, but now you’re not so sure you can sustain this.
You’ve been managing day-to-day expectations, just letting your head hit the pillow before you’re back up and at it again. You’re barreling down a pathway without looking up to be sure this is actually the way that you want to go.
Imagine instead feeling balanced, having healthy boundaries, being connected and excited in your intimate relationships, and experiencing clear motivation toward your life dream.
That might sound great to you, but asking for help to get there…
… might feel yet like another thing you must add to your list of things to do.
It might even feel like admitting failure or defeat.
Or it might feel like an unrealistic fairy tale that could never actually happen for you.
It’s okay. Most of us feel like that, too. We worry that if we admit just how tough of a time we are having, we’ll immediately fall apart. The surrounding messages are constantly reinforcing feelings of shame and embarrassment when you can’t make your marriage work. The nightmare scenarios you have heard about trigger your fears, but don’t strengthen your hope that things will get better.
But you have strengths that have kept you going. You recognize that things are not how you want them to be. You don’t want to be complacent, and you feel something driving you to make changes.
Changing and growing is difficult and requires a commitment.
Once our habits become ingrained, we stick to them because those choices and thoughts are the most well-worn paths in our life. We often stay on these well-worn paths even when we feel like they’re not taking us where we want to go.
You may notice that your and your partner’s disagreements always end up the same way. It’s like you both fall into a pattern of arguing that ends up painfully and with you each further apart than before.
Or you may try to implement lifestyle changes like going to bed earlier or eating differently, but soon find yourself back to staying up late and having the same standbys back in the rotation.
There is a lot of messaging out there that classifies people who seek therapy as “crazy” or “weak” or tells couples and families that their relationships with each other and their children “should come naturally.” Faced with these harsh judgments and archaic opinions, it is courageous to ask for help, seek therapy, and work to change your life to be what you want it to be.
Blazing a new path with a machete is not for the timid.
It requires courage, motivation, and energy. I know that it is hard work to challenge and replace your ways of thinking and communication habits. My approach is practical, methodical, and intended to support you in transitioning and balancing your life. This is your opportunity to really make your life and relationships feel right to you.
Therapy is where we pull back, slow down, and get a good look from above.
“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” –George Bernard Shaw
From the above, we can discover a way out. Once you’re out, you can decide on a new way to move forward and be in the world. You can create connection and joy in your relationships. You can feel whole and balanced.
In individual therapy, I offer a safe and supportive environment where you can explore and discover what you need to connect authentically to yourself, your life, and the people who matter to you.
I’ll likely confront you on your long-standing habits and patterns that are not actually working for you.
But I will also stay with you every step of the way while you experience and examine the pain and challenges in your life.
Together, we will take a straightforward look at your values, needs, boundaries, and realistic plans for change.
Let’s take back some control in your life and choose a different way forward. Together, we will change your life!
Are you ready to live with a clear vision for your life?
When you decide to do this work, I commit and invest deeply in you and help you achieve your goals and discover your purpose. You must be ready to change and are comfortable with me and my directive style of therapy.
You CAN grow and develop into the person you deeply want to be.
You CAN feel connected in your relationships without self-sacrificing.
You CAN learn new tools and develop deeper insights that help you shift your life and relationships into what you want them to be.
When you contact me, I will walk you through the process of therapy, whether or not you choose to work with me. I’ll ask you about what led you to seek therapy, your desired outcomes, and what you’ve already tried to do to get where you want to go. I’ll also answer your questions about my work, my style of working with individuals, or other questions you might have.
All you have to do is call me at (830) 215-8923 or email me, and we’ll schedule that free 20-minute consultation.